A client, of mine, has been ready to divorce for about 12 years. Let’s call her Nadia. Nadia has been living separately from her husband for the past 12 years. She has slept in a different bedroom for several years. Recently she has moved all her personal items into a separate suite in the family home. Nadia would attend all the family events to keep up appearances, but she is ready for a change.
But this is not the only client that I have worked with who is also living in a similar situation. It seems to be a pattern with a lot of people. Drifting apart until becoming indifferent to each other. Losing the spark that they both had until they no longer recognize each other.
One afternoon, I was listening to a Podcast which was discussing the “Silent Divorce”
. It opened my eyes to a new term, “Silent Divorce” or “Invisible Divorce”.
Some of the reasons Silent Divorce may occur: one person might be hyper focused on a solo hobby or activity. It could be an external source such as working long hours, focusing on other family or friends. One spouse might be consumed by a problem such as substance abuse. The result is that two people who should be acting like a team are no longer communicating as one.
So how do you know you if you are in a “Silent Divorce”? Below are some questions to help you evaluate your current relationship.
- How do you and your spouse communicate with each other?
- Do you feel heard and understood by your spouse?
- Are there any unresolved conflicts or issues in your marriage?
- Do you and your spouse spend quality time together?
- Have you and your spouse stopped engaging in activities or hobbies that you used to enjoy together?
- Do you feel emotionally distant from your spouse?
- Have you or your spouse expressed a desire for a separation or divorce?
- Have you or your spouse sought counseling or therapy to address any issues in the marriage?
- Are you or your spouse considering dating or seeking a romantic relationship outside of the marriage?
- Do you feel like the emotional connection in your marriage has been lost?
After reviewing your answers to the questions above, how do feel about your relationship? Are you feeling happy about your relationship, or would you like a change? Contact me for a complementary chat.