A week before I left my day job, one of the managers came into my office and told me, “𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐮𝐭.”
I remember looking at her confused. Thinking to myself, “𝒲𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝓈𝒽𝑒 𝓉𝒶𝓁𝓀𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒶𝒷𝑜𝓊𝓉?” It’s just after 9am; the day has just started for her. What could possible have happened in the 5 – 10 minutes since she got here?
She quickly left my office for the garage. I jumped up and followed her out of the building.
“𝓦𝓱𝓪𝓽?” I asked.
She stopped with teary eyes and said, “𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐞!”
I gave her a big hug. I could feel her 𝐬𝐚𝐝𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 melt in my arms.
She walked to her car scared that the 𝕓𝕚𝕘 𝕓𝕠𝕤𝕤𝕖𝕤 were watching her, making sure that she left the building with no incidence.
When I came back into the building, there were the 𝕓𝕚𝕘 𝕓𝕠𝕤𝕤𝕖𝕤 standing guard. I felt numb and unsettled with the feeling in the building. With in seconds the atmosphere changed from fun and loving to cold and bureaucratic.
In my mind I felt betrayed and let down. No one knew that she was being let go, except for the few of us who were in the lobby at the time.
No one really understood why she was let go, since she was great at her job. But the 𝕓𝕚𝕘 𝕓𝕠𝕤𝕤𝕖𝕤 no longer wanted her services.
Looking at the biggest stressors in life: 𝓓𝓲𝓿𝓸𝓻𝓬𝓮 and 𝓙𝓸𝓫 𝓛𝓸𝓼𝓼 are in the top five. Her 𝙧𝙚𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥 cut with no warning, her 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙞𝙖𝙡 stability gone, her 𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙩𝙮 changed, and her 𝙚𝙢𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 spinning out of control.
Sounds very similar to what I faced when I was told that my husband wanted a divorce.
It takes time to heal from the trauma of loss, whether a job or a relationship. Our body goes through a tail spin, but we must disrupt it.
- 𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓃𝑔𝑒 your identity to someone else. You are no longer a wife, husband, manager, or employee, but a strong person who will be able to get back on your feet to move forward.
- Give yourself 𝓅𝑒𝓇𝓂𝒾𝓈𝓈𝒾𝑜𝓃 to be sad. It is ok to be sad about what you experienced. Cry with friends. Cry because you feel like crying. Everyone does it whether they are honest to others.
- 𝘋𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘴𝘪𝘵 with the negative or the ugly, look for a nurturing environment. People who are positive and caring.
- 𝚁𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚜 are also important too. Don’t hide in your bed all day. Get up. Get dressed. Get out. Be part of your community. Do things that bring you joy. Exercise, eat healthy, don’t stop living your life.
- 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 the bigger scheme of things. Look past the present, and into the future to possibilities of a new and beautiful future.