They Fired Me!

A week before I left my day job, one of the managers came into my office and told me, “๐ˆ ๐ก๐š๐ฏ๐ž ๐›๐ž๐ž๐ง ๐›๐จ๐จ๐ญ๐ž๐ ๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ.”
I remember looking at her confused. Thinking to myself, “๐’ฒ๐’ฝ๐’ถ๐“‰ ๐’พ๐“ˆ ๐“ˆ๐’ฝ๐‘’ ๐“‰๐’ถ๐“๐“€๐’พ๐“ƒ๐‘” ๐’ถ๐’ท๐‘œ๐“Š๐“‰?” It’s just after 9am; the day has just started for her. What could possible have happened in the 5 – 10 minutes since she got here?

She quickly left my office for the garage. I jumped up and followed her out of the building. 

“๐“ฆ๐“ฑ๐“ช๐“ฝ?” I asked.

She stopped with teary eyes and said, “๐“๐ก๐ž๐ฒ ๐ฃ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐Ÿ๐ข๐ซ๐ž๐ ๐ฆ๐ž!”

I gave her a big hug. I could feel her ๐ฌ๐š๐๐ง๐ž๐ฌ๐ฌ melt in my arms. 

She walked to her car scared that the ๐•“๐•š๐•˜ ๐•“๐• ๐•ค๐•ค๐•–๐•ค were watching her, making sure that she left the building with no incidence. 

When I came back into the building, there were the ๐•“๐•š๐•˜ ๐•“๐• ๐•ค๐•ค๐•–๐•ค standing guard. I felt numb and unsettled with the feeling in the building. With in seconds the atmosphere changed from fun and loving to cold and bureaucratic.

In my mind I felt betrayed and let down. No one knew that she was being let go, except for the few of us who were in the lobby at the time. 

No one really understood why she was let go, since she was great at her job. But the ๐•“๐•š๐•˜ ๐•“๐• ๐•ค๐•ค๐•–๐•ค no longer wanted her services. 

Looking at the biggest stressors in life: ๐““๐“ฒ๐“ฟ๐“ธ๐“ป๐“ฌ๐“ฎ and ๐“™๐“ธ๐“ซ ๐“›๐“ธ๐“ผ๐“ผ are in the top five. Her ๐™ง๐™š๐™ก๐™–๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™จ๐™๐™ž๐™ฅ cut with no warning, her ๐™›๐™ž๐™ฃ๐™–๐™ฃ๐™˜๐™ž๐™–๐™ก stability gone, her ๐™ž๐™™๐™š๐™ฃ๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™ฉ๐™ฎ changed, and her ๐™š๐™ข๐™ค๐™ฉ๐™ž๐™ค๐™ฃ๐™จ spinning out of control.

Sounds very similar to what I faced when I was told that my husband wanted a divorce.

It takes time to heal from the trauma of loss, whether a job or a relationship.  Our body goes through a tail spin, but we must disrupt it. 

  • ๐’ž๐’ฝ๐’ถ๐“ƒ๐‘”๐‘’ your identity to someone else. You are no longer a wife, husband, manager, or employee, but a strong person who will be able to get back on your feet to move forward.

  • Give yourself ๐“…๐‘’๐“‡๐“‚๐’พ๐“ˆ๐“ˆ๐’พ๐‘œ๐“ƒ to be sad. It is ok to be sad about what you experienced. Cry with friends. Cry because you feel like crying. Everyone does it whether they are honest to others.

  • ๐˜‹๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ’๐˜ต ๐˜ด๐˜ช๐˜ต with the negative or the ugly, look for a nurturing environment. People who are positive and caring. 

  • ๐š๐š˜๐šž๐š๐š’๐š—๐šŽ๐šœ are also important too. Don’t hide in your bed all day. Get up. Get dressed. Get out. Be part of your community. Do things that bring you joy. Exercise, eat healthy, don’t stop living your life.   

  • ๐šƒ๐š›๐šž๐šœ๐š๐š’๐š—๐š the bigger scheme of things. Look past the present, and into the future to possibilities of a new and beautiful future.

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