What to know before getting a divorce?

No two divorces are the same, which means not all divorce tips and strategies will work for you.  There are a lot on the web, and everyone seems to have their opinion on the matter.  While some breakups are amicable, others are bitter and high conflict.  No matter what your situation, be prepared to take care of yourself.  Below are the 6 things that I learned from my divorce. 
Forgetting who the decision makers are

There are so many decisions that need to be made it can be very overwhelming.   Don’t give up all your rights for your own future and rely on your lawyer to make all the choices for you.   This is your life, not your lawyer, judge, or even your ex.  
My way or the highway style of negotiation
You want to win!  But at what cost?  The only one who may win because of your stubbornness is you lawyer.  You will end up emotionally drained, spend more time, and spend more that you realize.

Limiting your resources

Getting advice from friends or relatives and then hire a lawyer to handle everything.  If you rely solely on one point of view, there will be other areas that will be missed.    You might need a profession who can help with finances, retirement, business, parenting, career, special issues, etc.

Throwing in the towel

Just because you want out of your marriage immediately you might end up settling for less than you deserve or paying out more than you can afford.  By “want it to end fast”, you might create more problems in the long run.  You might overlook things that could cause you to be stuck in negotiation limbo forever.   

Betting the farm on another relationship

Rushing your decision to jump into another relationship can lead to huge disappointments.  By making your choices pushed by fear that you could lose your new love, could end horribly.  You might give up things that were important to you before, such as a pension, house, alimony.  

Wanting guarantees and certainty

The divorce process is filled with uncertainties.  You are uncertain about the settlement.  You are worried if you’re making the right deal.  You are stuck and can’t decide.  Take your time to understand the settlement terms and identify any generous provisions that may be present.  

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